Body Age pt. 2

So I'm finishing up my pre-op Boot Camp at "the Center", and today they did a second Body Age test to see if I've made any improvements over the last 3 months. My first test, in March, said my Body Age was 50. Today's test, after 3 months of exercise and nutrition counseling, showed some significant improvements, including a new "age" of 36. The highlights:

• I've lost 28 pounds.
• They measured my neck, shoulders, chest, abdomen, waist, hips, biceps, forearms, thighs, knees, and calves. All of my measurement have decreased, adding up to a total of 28" gone.
• My nutrition score went way up.
• My bicep strength, situps, and pushups all increased. (In one minute, sit-ups went from 12 to 20 and pushups went from 12 to 22; bicep strength went from pulling 56 lbs. to 62 lbs.)

So I'm excited about all of that. I'm still stressed that with 6" gone from my waist, my clothes still aren't fitting any differently! There's something wrong here...maybe my clothes really were just super tight before. Anyway, hopefully that means that post-op losses will show up more quickly in my clothes. I'm really glad that I did this whole Boot Camp extravaganza, but I'll have to post my thoughts on that another time.

Right now I'm getting ready to go out for my "last meal". Tomorrow I have my pre-op appointments and I'm expecting them to put me back on the dreaded Liver Shrinking Diet. :O I really thought that I would be sad at the thought of saying good-bye to food, and feel like I needed to eat a lot tonight. But I don't. I really think that my attitude about food has changed and, while I'm still dreading the LSD, I'm ok with the changes in eating habits that the surgery will bring. I'm not worried about feeling deprived anymore. I think this is partly due to my research and talking with others, and partly to the changes that I've already made. But going out to a nice dinner is always fun. So we're going to Maggiano's, a really nice Italian place.

Tomorrow I'm in for several hours of test and being poked and prodded. Then I'm taking the train overnight to Charleston. I'll report back when I can...

Total meltdown

I completely melted down today. I'm so tired from running, running, running all the time and trying to think about what I'm eating and getting my exercise in and all the other 1,000,000 things that go along with preparing for this surgery in addition to the job and being in a new city and all. Of course, I had less than 5 minutes for my meltdown. So I don't know if that really counts or not.

Here's what prompted the meltdown - I fell in the shower. I had about 20 minutes to shower and get ready to go back out (cards with the girls!) and I got in and fell down. *Side note - I've been feeling very off-balance lately. I've almost fallen several times. Hmmmm* I wasn't hurt, but it shook me up. You know how falling can do that? And I did grab the shower curtain on the way back down and it pulled the rod out of the wall a little bit so now I have to call and get them to fix that.

Here's what I melted about - I went to work out with Bryan today and it was fine. He weighed me and I've lost 5 pounds since last week. Which is great. I know it is. I'm excited about it. It means that, since the liver shrinking diet, I've lost a total of 20 pounds (some of those pounds I've lost twice - put them back on and lost them again :) ) Which I am happy about. But here's the thing - I still don't look any different. I don't feel any different. And even my clothes aren't fitting me any better. There are two things I do notice - I fit into my jeans straight out of the dryer. (But once they're on, they feel the same as they did before once I had worn them a little bit) And I have to work harder to get my heart rate up. Which I know is a good sign, but all it really means is I'm working out really hard and my heart rate is like "*yawn* whatever. I'll just stay here in this mediocre range" Shouldn't I at least feel better or have more energy or something? Or my clothes feel a little loose? Generally, losing 20 pounds will take you down a whole size! Maybe my clothes were just really tight before...

Make new friends, but keep the old...

one is silver, and the other gold! (can you hear me singing it?!?! I hope I sound better in your head than I do in real life)

One great thing about getting ready to have this surgery is that I'm meeting some really great new people. Tonight I met some girls from the OH board to plan some social events for the Richmond area. It was a lot of fun. I will admit to being overwhelmed - we were loud, and all talking at once about 15 different things. But I met some great new people, and I look forward to getting to know them better. When Theresa sends me the pictures, I'll post one :)

I met with the doctor today - I've been to the "the Center" 3 days in a row this week to meet with Lisa the nutritionist (Mon), Sgt. Bryan (Tue), and Dr. Powell (Wed). They've all been very encouraging and told me that I'm doing well. I know that I'm not doing as well as I could (or maybe even should!) be, but it's good to know that they are happy with the progress I'm making. I'm working hard at it, but there's always one more thing to do...I guess life is like that.

Speaking of, Sue (the "life coach" - the only one I didn't officially see this week, although we did chat when I ran into her in the office) thinks I should try hypnosis to see if I can get past gagging on nasty foods. Hmmmm.... She gave me the card of a hypnotist that she recommends. Still thinking on that one.

Alas, I broke the watch

Ok, I didn't BREAK the watch, but I did mess it up a little bit. It turns out that I did something that messed up the calorie counting (I have no idea what I did. Don't ask.) So I didn't ACTUALLY burn 1630 calories at Zumba. Oh, well. I enjoyed the thought while it lasted. I did work hard, though :) Off to Game Club!

Forgiveness follows failure

So it's Friday and I am STILL a bit sore from Tuesday's workout with Bryan. Wow. Maybe I need to learn not to work out until it stops hurting. But I have to work out at least 4 times between visits and if I wait two days to heal up then I absolutely have to do every day until then. See what I'm saying? I did a new water aerobics class yesterday - it was ok. Then, brilliant as I am, I decided that I was ready to try a class not in the water. So I went to Zumba tonight. There was some belly dancing, some salsa dancing, and a whole lot of shimmying and hip shaking. It was actually kind of fun, but it kicked my butt. Clearly, I'm not ready for that yet. My heart rate monitor is supposed to keep me in my "moderate" zone, but I spent the entire class well into the "high" zone tonight. Don't know how the sgt. is going to feel about that, but I didn't want to quit. And I didn't - I finished the class! And, on the "good news" front, I burned 1630 calories in just over an hour!

Today was the end of Teacher Appreciation Week (I have been very much appreciated all week - the parents have been wonderful) and my kids all brought in gifts today. The PTA sent out a survey waaaaay back (as in before "Boot Camp" started) asking us about our favorite things. So for my favorite morning drink, I put Diet Cherry Coke. Which it is. I love it. But I can't have it anymore. I got two 12-packs and a 20-oz bottle today. Also got a bunch of caramels, which I love but can't have. And mucho gift certificates to Bill's Barbeque, which I love but probably is not high in Nutripoints. But that's ok. They were really sweet to do it, and except for one caramel on the way home (ok, two caramels - but that was IT) I've been ok with resisting it so far. I'm giving away the coke and the candy and taking my friends out to Bill's - because it would be ok for me to eat there once. Just not $40 worth of times. :) I also got several nice gift certificates to other places, which will be fun to spend.

Sgt. Bryan strikes again!

OH. MY. GOODNESS. I worked out with Bryan yesterday and I am sooooooooo sore today. My abs, butt and thighs are mucho painful. I don't know if it's because I didn't go last week due to being sick, or just because of something extra we did. He said he almost made me do 3 sets of lunges. If we had done that, I don't know that I would have been able to walk today :)

Didn't do as good a job today with the Nutripoints system, but I'm determined that tomorrow will be a better day. It was still better than a day before I was on it, so that's something I suppose.

Nutripoints Day 1

So Nutripoints was not bad at all today - it was actually one of those days when I would have rather not eaten at all. Cooking is such a pain. No wonder I ate at drive-throughs so often. When you go all day and get home at 8, who wants to cook? But I took a sandwich, an OJ, and some broccoli for lunch today. The goal is to get in 6 servings of veggies, 4 of fruits, 3 of grains, 4 of legumes and/or meats, and 2 of milk/dairy in a day. I end up drinking most of my fruits and veggies which is fine. There is also a point assigned to each food - the higher the points, the better the food is for you (more nutrition per calorie). You are also supposed to hit a certain number of points per day, but right now my goal is to get in all the right servings, while eating only foods with a positive point value. Now potatoes in several forms - including frozen french fries - are on my approved veggie list, but I am trying to get no more than 2 of my veggie servings from potatoes. I know that my "points" are nowhere near where they're supposed to be because I'm mainly eating from the low end of the spectrum - I probably get 50 points a day where you're supposed to get 150. But it's a big change for me anyway. I'll keep working on it.

Tomorrow it's back to see Sgt. Bryan for my workout and meeting with Sue the Life Coach. I was so bad last week (although I legitimately was sick and missed my apt. with Bryan), I'm embarrassed to go back, but I will. It's not going to get any easier!

Happy Cuatro de Mayo!

I'm ready to give the Nutripoints system a try starting tomorrow. It really wouldn't be fair of me to criticize it so much without giving it a try. So hopefully I will start to see some positive results - and, after all, I am committed to some major lifestyle changes here.

I think I've realized the piece that's been missing in my WLS journey - God. How can I do this without him? That's big *duh* that's been smacking me in the face these past couple of days. So I'm really going to work on seeking His guidance and leaning on Him for making this work.

LSD thoughts

Well, I've been off the dreaded Liver Shrinking Diet for 3 days now, which is awesome! Getting ready to get started with the next phase of my nutrition plan - the Nutripoints system. I'm sooooo not psyched about this. It doesn't work well with what I like to eat (which I know is not healthy things, but still) and involves a lot of cooking, which I rarely do. I'm not happy with my nutritionist, because she doesn't seem terribly willing to be flexible and help me figure out a way to make it work for me. Her two comments were, "Maybe you're not ready for the surgery yet" and "Well, this is the program we do here so this is it". It's not a program that I can do post-op, so I'm feeling pretty negative about it and trying to get past that for right now.

But back to the ever-exciting LSD. Since it was a new idea to have patients do it this far out from surgery to "jump start weight loss and get them motivated", I've been collecting my thoughts. Not that anyone has asked. But I may share them anyway.

Positives:

• I lost 16 pounds in 2 weeks.
• I didn't die. Which is to say that I learned that I can live through it - and that, while I was cranky, I could have fun even when it wasn't centered around food.

Negatives:

• I was very cranky and irritable the entire two weeks, although not really hungry.
• It was inconvenient - I couldn't go out to eat with friends, had to be sure I had my special foods with me wherever I went.
• This far out from surgery I'm not sure I'm comfortable telling everyone, and it makes it hard not to. I didn't really want to just tell half-truths - "It's part of a new diet program I'm doing" or make up stores - "I'm not feeling well", but I did both some. I did end up telling some people that I wasn't ready to tell (co-workers).
• I didn't get to have my surgery at the end of it, and went a little wild food-wise the day after it was over.
• It was hard to be motivated to do it, since jump-starting my weight loss did not seem like a good enough reason to me to be put through this. It did not make me feel motivated. I can understand having to do it to shrink the liver for surgery, but this didn't make much sense to me which made it much more difficult.
• I felt like I was secretly being tested to see if I could do it.
• My nutritionist, who put me on the program, didn't have a complete understanding of what the diet was supposed to be, so for the first week I had to eat that nasty sandwich every night.

So, overall, despite the fact that my jeans are a little bit looser, this was a very negative, discouraging experience for me. And people telling me that other people had harder diets (I don't believe it for a minute - NO ONE else I have ever heard of has to do this for four weeks. And people who have to do all liquids usually only do it for a day or two) or that this was a good thing to get me prepared for surgery only made me more irritated. I'm having a really hard time with the whole thing right now and questioning everything. It's hard planning for something which is so far away. My surgeon's support group meets once a month and I've been to two already and will go to one more before my surgery. Then there's one the day after I have my surgery (I'll still be in the hospital, so won't go) It's hard seeing everyone else losing so much weight when I'm so far out and not really being able to relate to much of what they're saying. On my online message board I see people come in new and have their surgery quickly while I don't get to do that.

So, I'm sorry - I feel like a lot of my posts about this are negative. I've been trying to make all these changes - exercising 5 days a week, giving up diet soda, giving up FOOD for two weeks, now this Nutripoints thing - most of which have been very, very hard and I'm just not feeling better because of it. It's been about 6 weeks since I first started exercising and 4 since I gave up soda and I have yet to feel better. In fact, I feel worse. I'm very much an instant gratification junkie and this is hard. I'm going to try and post positive things next time :)

LSD day 2

So it's day two of the Liver Shrinking Diet and it's had definite ups and downs. Yesterday was no problem - even went out to CiCis with 2 girls from the OH board and watched them eat pizza and was fine. Today was different. Most of the day at school I felt AWFUL - tired, nauseous, dizzy, headache, congested, you name it. (Ok, so maybe the congestion was from the pollen and not the LSD - you wouldn't believe the pollen around here) At one point I had to just tell my kids to go do math tubs because I was too nauseous and dizzy to even talk to them. Even walking in from recess one of the girls I teach with said I looked like I was about to fall over.

I had some drama with paying the fees from a traffic ticket so I had to go down to the court to pay it today, which meant that I didn't have time to exercise before I met with Sue (my "life coach"). This worked out very well, because it meant I got to go home and take a nap. I felt sooooooooooo much better after my nap and was able to get my second shake in on the way to see Sue. She wants me to find things that make me happy to look forward to each day now that I can't use food for that purpose. She said that don't have to be 10 on the happiness scale, just anything that I can look forward to. (I asked if I could use taking a nap! She actually said yes, but the nap sounded more like a necessity so we should chose something else as well) I haven't thought of anything yet - not that it has to be the same thing every day.

So after I left Sue I went to the gym to swim and ended up doing a water aerobics class which was fun. I may try and do it again sometime. I'm not having much luck getting this nasty sandwich and green beans down for dinner, though. I'm not hungry at all - right now I'm having more trouble getting in what I'm supposed to eat rather than wanting more.

Oh, and I have tried two new things - strawberry yogurt and baby carrots. Both were completely disgusting. They both made me gag. *sigh* I have no idea how I am going to start liking new things!!!!!!

An exciting new twist

So I met with the nutritionist for the first time tonight. I have been DREADING this meeting, since I know that what I eat is the worst thing about my health. And I just don't know how to start magically liking new things! It's taken me a long time to get in with her and apparently I waited too long, because in exciting news...

I get to do the two-week liquid "liver shrinking" diet

TWICE!

Apparently my surgeon's office has decided that at the beginning of meeting with the nutritionist, we should go ahead and do the liver shrinking diet to "jump start" our weight loss and get us motivated. Of course, then I have to start the Nutripoints system (which is NOT a good one for me, not that anyone will listen when I say that), and two weeks pre-op go back on the LSD. Yippeee!!! Here's what I have to do every day for two weeks:

Breakfast - Carnation Instant Breakfast pre-made or Slim-Fast High Protein (they are very specific)

Lunch - same as breakfast, with the addition of some fruit (which I don't like)

Snack - cottage cheese or yogurt (don't like either or these) or I can choose from baby carrots, grape tomatoes, or cucumber slices (don't like any of these) Here's what my nutritionist - the expert who's supposed to help me make this work for me said - "Oh, just try it." Because for the last 30 years I've just been avoiding them for fun.

Dinner - sandwich made with 4 oz. of Healthy Choice or Hillshire Farm 97% fat free turkey, chicken, ham, or roast beef and two slices of Nature's Valley double fiber whole grain wheat bread. 1 cup non-starchy vegetable.

I think that's it. So, there's clearly quite a bit of flexibility on this plan. I also have to get in 64 oz. of liquids during the day which includes all the usual no-sugar, no-calorie suspects but also fat-free broth, fat-free jello, and sugar-free, fat-free fruit flavored popsicles.

So like the obedient girl that I am I have gone out and bought all of this tonight (at 10:30 - I need to start setting bedtimes and sticking to them) and I am going to try one new thing a day. I'm not super-excited about this, so wish me luck!

Serious withdrawal

Do you think that I could be having withdrawal from Diet Coke? My "life coach" (and I, in theory) decided that I should just give up soda cold turkey this week (I, of course, had to agree to do it, but I didn't want her to think that I was weak or unwilling to try!) It has NOT, contrary to what people seem to think, made me feel better. In fact, I think it has made me feel worse. My head has been hurting and I'm just generally feeling yucky. I am also about to die to have a Coke. Let's face it, I'll probably go ahead and have one before I go back to her next week. It will still be a serious soda reduction.

My exercise has also been upped this week to 4 times a week, 1-3o minute session, 2-40 minute session, and 1 - HOUR AND TEN MINUTE session. Now, that long one I spend 45 minutes in my "light" heart rate zone and 25 minutes in my "moderate" so it's not really hard. But it is booooooring. And I basically have to do it on the treadmill because otherwise it's pretty hard to keep my heart rate down in that zone. And I feel bad taking the treadmill at the gym for that long. On the subject of exercise, I would like to add that it also does not make me feel better like it is supposed to. It makes me feel better in a "I-checked-something-off-my-list-for-today" kind of way, but not in a "I-have-more-energy-and-feel-healthier" kind of way.

Back to the grind

Someone REALLY does not want me to exercise. In addition to the heart rate thing not working in the pool and the stolen iPod, here's today's story. I was in such a bad mood and my head HURT like anything and I was tired and didn't feel good. The plan was to go to a faculty baby shower after school, go work out, and then go to my first support group meeting - one with my surgeon's office. The pregnant girl was out sick, so the shower was cancelled and I was so fed up I emailed my C'ville teammates to see if they wanted to go out to dinner. I was going to skip it all, and go eat and vent. One of them could do dinner, but I changed my mind. I decided I would just feel more guilty if I skipped everything, so I went home and lay down briefly (didn't really help) then headed off to the gym. I packed stuff for the treadmill and the pool. I checked out the pool and it was almost empty, and I was suddenly psyched about swimming. Then I couldn't get the stupid heart rate thing to work. Once I finally figured it out and went to the pool, it was totally full. But I was already in my suit and had showered, so I was wet, so I decided to get in the hot tub and wait for a lane. I waited about half an hour for an empty lane - and this little tween did totally steal one from me - before I realized that I had to leave to make it to the support group. So I left, angrily. I did, however, enjoy the support group. They were awesome - funny and supportive and, though some people talked more than others, there wasn't that one person that talks all the time that you want to shoot. So that made me happy.

Yes, I know that I had options tonight - I could have asked someone to share a lane (although I've never seen anyone do this at this gym, it did happen at my old one), or changed and gotten on a treadmill. Or even gone back after my meeting (it would have been 8:00 before I even got there) Yes, I know they're just excuses. But DANG. So now that my exercise has been upped to 3 hours a week in 4 sessions (thanks, Sgt. Brian!) I'm really going to have to go every day to meet my goal. I can do it, though :)

I met with the "life coach" this week as well and "we" decided that I should just give up Cokes. No more. Period. This stinks. It is not fun at all, and it's only been one day. We'll see how that goes. I may have to ease into that one...

Next week I go to the nutrition class (which I'm irritated about b/c I've already read the book and I do not have patience for people telling me things I've already read!) and back to exercise with Brian. Then the week after I meet with the nutritionist for the first time (I bet she's never had a case as hard as me!), exercise with Brian, AND back to Sue, the life coach. This week I did the exercise, the life coach, and the support group. I am so totally busy with pre-op appointments, it's making me a little insane...

*picture mad face here*

Today I was excited to finally get to wear my heart rate monitor and watch while I went swimming (I did walk with it several times in Lynchburg and Charleston over the break). Guess what? IT DIDN'T WORK. It works in water just fine - it worked while I was in the shower. But something about the chemicals in that nasty pool made it not worked. I read over the manual carefully when I got home and sure enough hidden deep in there somewhere was the statement that some chemicals in pools may interfere with transmission. I could literally pull myself up on the side of the pool so the thing was out of the water and it would start working, then lower myself back in and it would stop. I had it time my workout anyway, but it's just not the same. Swimming is the only exercise that I actually enjoy. I occasionally enjoy going for a walk - but only because I enjoy having the time to listen to my music on my iPod.

I'm still reading the documentation on the NutriPoints system that they want me to follow for my eating plan, and it's completely impossible for me. They also keep sending me emails wanting me to come to some other nutrition class that , even in their promotional materials, sounds like nothing but a long sales pitch for this Juice Plus pill they have. So I'm tired and angry and frustrated right now. At least my Heels won last night - 3 more games and we're national champions :)

Fancy new gadgetry

So today I had two "boot camp firsts". This morning I met with the "Life Coach" - like a counselor. I really liked her. She was very sweet and non-judgemental, very much unlike the pyschologist that I met with for my first evaluation. I do not know that I will ever actually enjoy going and talking to a counselor about myself...but I think I'll be ok with going to see this one. One weird thing, though - she didn't have a normal psychologist-type office. It was smaller than a doctor's exam room, with a little counter across the back and just enough room for a table and two chairs for us to sit in. I haven't decided if this is a good thing or not yet!

While I was there, I saw Brian (and let him know that I hold him responsible for how sore my legs are today - he said, "You know what? They're going to hurt tomorrow too." Thanks, guy!) and got my fancy heart rate monitor watch. It had my exercise schedule programmed into it, so tonight I went walking on the path around my apartment complex. This was my "short" workout - I was supposed to do 25 minutes in my moderate heart rate zone. This little watch doohicky kept track of my heart rate, time spent in the proper zone, calories burned, everything. If I went above or below my heart rate it beeped at me. Constantly. Not just one little "you're not in the right spot" beep. A beep beep beep beep beep beep beep until you fix it beep. I may turn that little feature off.

Of course, you don't grow up in Brian Nash's house and think that good enough is good enough. So I decided to try and do just 5 minutes of my workout in my high heart rate zone. Would you know - it records that I did it, but doesn't count the time towards my 25 minute goal! So my total exercise time was about 45 minutes, which was good. I like having this fancy little thing!

I'm off to Wal-Mart to buy fitness equipment - one of the big balls and stretchy cords for strength training, and some decent tennis shoes!

Ow!!

So today (after a parent made me madder than mad - I was so mad I almost cried. I don't know how we are going to co-exist the rest of the year) I had my first personal training session as part of my pre-op "Boot Camp" Brain, my PT, is very nice and has started me out pretty easy - just 3 30-minute workouts for the first week. My heart rate monitor wasn't in yet but I should be able to pick it up tomorrow when I go back (AGAIN), this time to meet with the "Life Coach". It will have all of my supposed-to-do exercise programmed into it and if I meet my goal I get a little trophy on the watch ;) But we did a few minutes on the treadmill today and then some weights and I am already hurtin'. I can only imagine how I'll feel tomorrow....

"Body Age"

So, today was rough. My class was AWFUL today. Completely, totally AWFUL. I scooted out of there pretty fast b/c I had to get to the Center of Integrative Medicine for my Body Age Analysis - the first step in this pre-op nutrition and exercise program. I got lost. Twice. I was ten minutes late.

So, here I am - ready to assess my health and fitness which, let's be honest, has no chance of being anything remotely good. And since it's not something that I especially like to discuss, I'm game to do this but I'm not really excited about it. Plus, after my awful experience with the psychologist I'm worried that he is going to be just as disapproving and critical. Add that to my day and me being late and I'm a mess. Completely stressed and ready to burst into tears at the least provocation. So what's the first thing they do? Take my blood pressure. I have NEVER had high blood pressure at all and today it was 141/104. I freaked. Brian (the guy doing the assessment) said it was probably because I was so upset and stressed and they would do it again the next time I was there. There was also a cardiac portion where they measured your resting heart rate and they couldn't get mine to go below 100. I tried so hard to relax - he would leave the room so I could calm down and I just started crying. Luckily, he pretended not to notice :)

Brian was nothing like the psychologist - he was very positive and encouraging, despite the fact that my results were (predictably) not so good. He didn't try and sugar coat it, but he did recognize that I knew they weren't good and that's why I was doing all of this to improve on it. In addition to the blood pressure and the heart rate, I had to answer a lot of questions on the computer, stand on a body mass scale, do a bicep curl to measure strength, a flexibility test, push-ups and sit ups. Actually on the strength and push ups I scored in the average range for my age. Brian said that if they do my blood pressure again and it's back to normal that will take my body age down significantly, but as it was it came out that my body was like a 56 year old!!!! Woah. That's freaky old. I go back tomorrow for a regular doctor's appointment, then next week I start with the nutrition an exercise program.

I was so tired I almost fell asleep driving home. Needless to say, I crashed and took a nap when I got home.

I'm going granola!

So I went to the Center of Integrative Medicine today. They were the people referred to me (by my surgeon's office) for my pre-op nutritional counseling. I wasn't really sure what to expect. It turns out that it was a 3-month program that includes meeting with the doctor, a psychological exam, meetings with a "Life Coach", individual sessions and large group meetings with a nutritionist, an eating plan (NOT a diet!), and an exercise plan with personal training sessions each week.
Here are the positives:

• I get to work with all of those professionals together to help me figure out a plan that works for me.
• I'm getting a jump start on weight loss and lifestyle changes.
• They give you this heart rate monitor and special watch that monitors and records your heart rate - they download your personal training program into the watch and then when you come back they hook the watch back up to the computer to find out how you did. (Some have referred to it as a "tattletale watch") Really, that's just a cool little technology thing.
• My motivation for chosing the RNY surgery was, "If I'm going to do this, I'm going all the way" If I truly believe that, getting started with extra help now makes sense.
• I can stay with them after the surgery, even have the doctor there become my primary care doctor if I want to.
• The nutritionist I would be working with had gastric bypass surgery and has been very successful, so she's a great resource.
  

Here are the negatives:

• Money. Insurance pays for some of it, but it will end up costing around $1,000. I am NOT taking money from my parents for this - they have already paid for my gym membership and are paying for the surgery. It will take a full third of my savings (I know, my savings are pitiful) but I can do it. I can make it cost a little bit less by not doing the full exercise program, but really when we're already paying tens of thousands of dollars, is a few hundred worth worrying over?
• It requires a big-time commitment. Can I do it? Well, I better be able to b/c once I have the surgery I'm committed for sure!
• The whole practice is very yoga-natural remedy kind of crunchy and that's not really me. Give me artificial sweeteners and antibiotics any day! This will be more of an issue if I end up using them as my PCP, since I don't have one in Richmond yet.
• There's an issue with my psychological evaluation. I have one scheduled for tomorrow with someone else that has been pre-approved already, but the center would prefer that I do it with their psychologist, which makes sense. So I have to see if I can get my approval switched, blah blah blah.

So I came home, thought about it, looked into it a little bit more, prayed about it, and talked to my mom. I've decided to do it. I'm going to call in the morning and ask them what to do about the insurance thing for the psychological evaluation. I may have to pay a penalty for canceling at the last minute. I may tell them to reschedule it for a later date and then call to cancel several days out so I'm not canceling within 24 hours and incurring a possible penalty ;) So we'll see how that goes.

Welcome to my life!

I'm a little unsure about this whole blogging thing, so here's the plan - I'm going to start one and not tell anyone about it. Makes good sense, right? Well, maybe I'll end up telling people. We'll see.

To start with a scary fact about me - I am THIRTY years old. Yes, 30. That is a freakin' scary huge number for a fat single girl in a tiny apartment. Not so scary for a married woman with a house and a baby or two. But for me, yes. By the way, while I'm on the subject of my age, let me say this: I am really tired of people telling me that I'm still young and have plenty of time to have babies and most people are waiting until they're older now anyway. That's fine and dandy. I am happy for those people. I am fine with them deciding that they wanted to wait. It's just not how I wanted MY life to go. Oh, well. I suppose God has his own plan out there for me...I'm just working on finding it.


Here's a major decision that I have recently made - I'm going to have RNY gastric bypass surgery this summer. This is a weight loss surgery that staples a small portion of my stomach off and bypasses some of my intestines to that even the small amount of food I'm able to eat doesn't all get absorbed. It's completely scary, mostly because I'm going to completely have to change the way I eat and be more serious about exercise. And if I cheat I get really sick. Here's where the whole process stands right now:

- My insurance does not have the necessary rider to cover the surgery, so I'm doing this self-pay. And by self-pay, I mean that my wonderful parents are paying for it. Deciding to accept this money from them was a HUGE obstacle in making this decision.

- I have gone to an orientation meeting, and met with my surgeon - Dr. Elliot of the Richmond Surgical Group. Another doctor in that group was actually recommended to me, but I ended up meeting with Dr. Elliot. He moved here recently from CA, but he performed WLS there as well and I have heard lots of good things. He's not particularly gregarious (big word!), but I think that he will be a good choice for me.

- On Tuesday, I'm going to another doctor to begin a nutrition program for the next 4 months leading up to the surgery. (I'm waiting until summer because you have to be out of work for up to 6 weeks, and as a teacher summer made more sense) They were recommended by Dr. Elliot's office and they said that they may be willing to take me on as my primary care doctor as well. That would be good, since they obviously work with WLS patients. However, in addition to being medical doctors they practice "holistic medicine" and I'm not sure how I feel about that so we'll see how it goes...

- On Wednesday, I'm having my psychological evaluation. *gulp* Who knows what they will say about me? ;)